ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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