dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So much rum. So many feels.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
