It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
babies were throwing up all over the place
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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