my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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