i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize