Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
