We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
