whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
