great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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