The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
