i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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