You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
oh god was she eating orange peels again
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
