so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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