Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
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