I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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