ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
