we have officially lost it.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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