Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Can I color on your dick again?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
