Can Purell be used as lube?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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