We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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