I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
