i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
