Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
