the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
