you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
