I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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