I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
