Walk of Shame. In a state park.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
