Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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