I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
