I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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