Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize