Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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