The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
