dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
