Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
