..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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