I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
