Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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