shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She bit a glass in half.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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