The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
