So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
