At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Everything about him screamed your future.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
