I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
