it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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