That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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