apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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