I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
