So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
