Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
This is my gift to your gina
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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