u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Church boner. Awkwardddd
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize