Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
