are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
