My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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