i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
