So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize