both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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