After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
