Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
