Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
