you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
this hospital has no fireball
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize