Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
