Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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