Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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