Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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