The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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