Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize