if only i could text you this smell
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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