the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
